Time for some better Reubnick/Reuben Glaser google image results!

Ok, I was just looking at my [Reubnick] google image results, and it is SHAMEFUL! The first two results aren’t even me, and the ones that actually have me in them are ridiculously stupid. Ive got like a fake moustashe in them. As for the rest? They are pretty much all Nalts and weird pictures he has featured on WillvideoforFood.

When I searched my actual name “Reuben Glaser”, all of the results in general are of my doppelganger with the same name, Reuben Glaser of the band Pearlene. Plus, I am unlucky enough to have a lot less talent than that guy. I mean, he is in a REALLY good band, and he himself is very good at guitar. I actually have a Pearlene CD myself, that’s how good they are. Me on the other hand…well, I make stupid videos nobody watches. With that said, I think we can agree that the other Reuben Glaser deserves those results. Regardless, that isn’t good news for me. I guess that is the price I pay for having the same name as a very good rock star!

The way I see it, though, I think it is high time I try to get myself some better image results.

As for actually manipulating which results somebody can get on google images, I don’t know how to do that. I think it might just be the luck of the draw, or how much traffic a result gets. I mean, my friggin’ youtube channel isn’t even on the first 25 pages of web results when you search for Reubnick, which I think is garbage. But, even if I have no clue what I am doing, I think I will just tag these following images with “Reubnick” and “Reuben Glaser” a copious amount of times. That sounds like it should make a difference.

Last night, I decided to take some “glamour shots”, which I will hope become my google image results. You guys know what I mean. Those black and white pictures that all of the famous serious actors have. I figured I need some of those, even if I am the polar opposite of famous and serious. So, without further ado, here is the Reubnick in all of his majesty (and no, that doesn’t mean I’m naked!)

Here, Reuben Glaser/Reubnick shows off his neat Reuben Glaser hat.

Reubnick/Reuben Glaser is flustered at the fact that "Reuben Glaser" and "Reubnick" have such stupid image results.

Reubnick/Reuben Glaser being cute, in a Reuben Glaser kind of Reubnick way.

Reubnick being creepy, as Reuben Glaser often is.

Reubnick pointing in your general direction.

Reuben Glaser with his precious dog Jojo. Everybody loves Reubnick, but Reuben Glaser loves Jojo more.

Now, I am done. I have made a nice little gallery for you all for whenever you want to see me…which pretty much means that this post will not be getting very many views.

Alls I know is that I hope this works, because it was really weird typing my name so much in one sitting. Thank you and Merry Christmas!

Seriously, though. I still want to be in Ghostbusters 3.

I was browsing through my entries on this website from over the past couple of months, and I thought I should do some follow-ups to them. Yes, I still think I am in love with the beautiful Hayley Williams, yes, I still find Danny Devito hilarious, yes, people still seem to think I look like Jesse MacCartney (although some Justin Beiber comparisons have been popping up here and there, unfortunately), and most importantly, YES, I still want to be in Ghostbusters 3. Very much.

You guys might remember over the summer, I made a satirical post and video where I fake auditioned for Oscar Barrett in Ghostbusters 3. I was being all obnoxious, and horrible. Actually a pretty good video, if you ask me. and ever since I did that, I’ve been becoming more active in the Ghostbusters community, and overall becoming a bigger fan. I mean, you could probably call me a Ghostbusters nerd at this point. I’ve always liked the Ghostbusters, but its really kicked into overdrive since the summer. I have 4 GB shirts now, actually, and a belt buckle I wear almost every day. I spent my Halloween watching Ghostbusters alone. I recently started playing Ghostbusters the game for the second time. I just finished organizing the entire collection of original, vintage Ghostbusters trading cards. You all get the point.

At the same time, I’ve been thinking a lot about how awesome it would actually be to REALLY be cast in the movie. Not even just as Oscar, but as anybody. I keep saying “REUBEN, YOU ARE AN IDIOT AND THAT CRAP WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO YOU!”, and I have been moving on. However, the subject has literally been popping up in my dreams with great frequency, which, to quote Zoolander, is kind of whack.

On the other hand, I’ve been considering the fact that out of all movies right now who are casting, I have about a 0% chance of even getting considered to audition. But with Ghostbusters 3, I feel I might have about a 0.001% chance, which is definitely infinite times better than a 0% chance. The reason I say this is because repeatedly, Dan Aykroyd has said he hopes to get completely unknown actors to be in the movie, because they are cheap.

You guys may not have noticed, but I am completely unknown. Plus, at this naive age, I would work for very, very, very, very cheap. Especially in a movie like that.

Plus, to be arrogant and pretentious for a moment, I feel I truly could play the son of Peter Venkman very well.

Now, I have always had dreams of fame and show business shoved in the back of my head, but I never intend to pursue them as my only plan in life, because I don’t want to face dissappointment. Really, I want to grow up to become a script-writer for movies, and I never really expect to be in the movies themself. However, if ever given the chance to act in the movies, I would never, ever, ever turn an opportunity like that down.

Not even being sarcastic, I go to sleep and have dreams about being in movies with Ben Stiller and Seth Rogen and Will Ferrell almost every night. I wake up, say “No way, jose”, and clear my head and go on with the rest of my day. I mean, let’s face it, the odds of being in movies are really stacked against me as a guy who lives in WISCONSIN. My best bet would be to head to L.A. as soon as I graduate, and hope for the best. That could go horribly, though.

So as far as even thinking about trying to pursue a serious movie career right now, I don’t even begin to do that. My only exception would be Ghostbusters 3, and if I could ever get any more information and details as to how to get in on that, let me tell you right now, I would be all means pursure it.

I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START, THOUGH! Are they going to have an open casting call, or are they going to hire some sort of casting director to choose some lucky people with connections. Plus, if they even HAD an open casting call, I would probably not even know about it, because I live in WISCONSIN.

So what is a guy to do? Does anybody reading this personally know Dan Aykroyd or Harold Ramis? If so, please send them here. This time, I am actually being kind of serious. I really don’t have any expectations of this going anywhere, but if I don’t even try to get my foot in the door, that 0.001% chance will go back to a zero.

As far as open casting calls, if there will be any of those, if anybody has heard anything about that, please also tell me.

As a matter of fact, if anybody has ANY information that could put me in the right direction, write me a comment. Any information at all will be a help.

All I know is that I REALLY want this, and I’ve thought about it. I’ve decided this really would be the coolest thing to ever happen to me in the off chance that I get involved with it in any capacity. I really love the Ghostbusters. I can’t even begin to explain how awesome it would be to be in it, even for 6 seconds.

So there, I said it. Let me once again reiterate that I don’t really expect for this to go anywhere, but I am still just going to throw it out there. For anybody involved with the movie, I want you to know that I would be willing and ready to get involved with this movie, for next to zero dollars. Just know that. There is a Reuben if you need him.

For that matter, I also feel that Danny Devito would make a good Slimer. Thank you for your time.

 

 

I HATE GLENN BECK!

Well, in the past few minutes, I have decided that Glenn Beck is officially my least favorite person on Television.

Actually, you know what? I have a correction. Glenn Beck is my least favorite person in all of entertainment. In all of the entertainment world, movies, music, an TV, Glenn Beck is my least favorite. He takes the cake.

Here is an equation to help you.

Michael Moore X Louie Anderson (X 2)  + Spencer Pratt/Ricky Gervais = Glenn Beck.

Yes, I dislike him that much. I won’t go into it, but if you watch him for 2 seconds, it is very understandable why. Plus, there are far too many reasons to explore. Lets just keep it at this. My disdain for Glenn Beck is unfathomable.

I just hope he stays around, because the man is a walking punchline. He is so utterly ridiculous, I just have to laugh at him. One of these days, I am going to do a parody video of him…and that is such a simple concept. All I’ll have to do is galivant around, saying things that are both pompous and arrogant, and make no sense, and I’ll be golden.  Can’t wait!

Why the people who work on Bioshock are completely awesome.

Let me just first say this. I like video games. I really, really enjoy them. I have a PS3, and a Xbox 360. Of course, I’m not one of those people who is contantly talking about video games, either, and how many people they pwned, or how to get achievements, or how many headshots and teabags they did. Gameplay isn’t even the big thing for me, I’m in it for the story line. If a video game is good, it’s like a really great movie that you can live, that you can manipulate, and that YOU can make last for weeks. It’s so great. My personal favorites are Grand Theft Auto 4, Drake’s:Uncharted (which, may I add, has an incredibly looking sequel coming out), Ghostbusters: The game, The Sly Cooper series, Pitfall Harry, and Bioshock. For those who have played those, you can totally tell that they are incredibly detailed, and have super rich story lines. However, most people don’t even realize I love video games, because I keep it relatively secret. Because, who needs to hear about my adventures in video games? Nobody. If they want to, just buy the game and live those adventures by yourselves! That said, I like to generally keep video game talk to myself, except for the occasional tweet. But, for this post, I am going to breach that.

I’ve talked about how much I love Bioshock on twitter before, correct?  It is an amazingly fun game, with an epic storyline. It’s probably the best game I’ve ever played. But, that isn’t the only reason I’m so into it, though. In addition to that, I am totally digging how the publishers are REALLY going the extra mile generating hype for the upcoming Bioshock 2…and it is TOTALLY working.

Lets see. Does anybody know about the website put out by 2k, called “There’s something in the sea”? Click the link to go to it, if you have time, but let me just sum it up here. Basically, it’s a website chronicaling the efforts of a man named Mark Meltzer to find his kidnapped daughter. It’s setting the scene for the second game, and although it’s all complete make-believe, it is still incredibly awesome. Plus, they update it contantly, and the plot continues to thicken to this day, and it was started over half a year ago. I am totally into it, and check it out as often as I can, and there is always something new. Talk about effort from them! That is practically unprecedented in generating hype for something, and it is totally working. It could be incredibly annoying, half-baked, or just lame, but it’s not. I’ve got Bioshock fever, and fully intend to get the second game as soon as I can get my hands on it.

But, wait! There’s more!

You might think that was all they were doing, because that seems like a lot as it is, but they’ve done even more promotions, too! On the 7th of August, I believe, there was something posted about Mark Meltzer visiting a certain number of beaches in real life, and the next morning, anybody who went to visit found bottles supposedly from “Rapture”, the name of the place the game takes place, and they had posters and things of that nature rolled up inside. Here’s a good article about it.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get anything for myself, because I am here in Wisconsin, and nothing happens in Wisconsin. However, this is what piqued my interest even more about Bioshock 2, and what got me even more excited.

I found my way to “There’s something in the sea” and spent about 2 days looking at all of the things on it. I also went to the wiki for the page, and found that they had featured some fan letters to Mr. Meltzer. That sounded cool. So, since I am sort of a loser for things like that, I went to work on a letter, just for the heck of it, to see if I couldn’t get featured. I was 90% sure I wouldn’t, but I was in a letter writing mood in the first place (having previously written Will Forte a fan letter), so I thought “Why not?”

I made up some bogus story that fit in with the premise, and mailed it out a couple of weeks ago. I almost forgot about it too, until today, I recieved a mysterious package addressed to me with no return label. I opened it up, and here’s what I found.

A RECORD!

Yes! That is correct. It is an actual record disc, from the “Rapture Records” store.

Now, that is pretty darn awesome.

Plus, I am lucky enough to have a record player down in the basement, and within minutes, I was playing the record. Side A had the Rapture theme song on it, sung by the character Sander Cohen, I believe, and side B had the same thing…but also something else.

At the beginning of the record, before the song starts, is the tinny voice of a little girl saying “Daddy! Where are you Daddy? Are you going to come find me, Daddy?” in a creepy way. Then, the song continues. Spooky.

Now, I’d assume that voice is supposed to be that of Mark Meltzer’s daughter. How suspenseful!

Now, I have an awesome little souvenir from Rapture, and I am EVEN more excited for Bioshock 2. I have no clue how many people have recieved the same thing as me, but I hope they are as excited as I am about it. This made my day, as lame and nerdy as that may sound.

So, this goes out to you, 2k, the Bioshock publishers. Well played. Hopefully this hype will come in handy when you release the game, and make this one a big seller. You’ve already sold me!

My confusion regarding Youtube + Itunes.

I am going to make a video called “Baby Fight” in the near future, which will be running along the same concept of the unbeliavably hysterical Gasoline fight in Zoolander, which is one of my favorite scenes in any movie of all time. Remember that? Everybody was fighting with gasoline, and one of the models lit a cigarette, and they all died? It’s genius. Anyway, in my video,  instead of using gasoline, I am going to use  baby dolls from the dollar store. I do, however, still want to have similar music to what was used in Zoolander, which was the Wham song “Jitterbug.” Of course, I don’t actually want to use that song in particular, because then I’d be downright stealing the idea from Ben Stiller, but I do want some fun, bouncy, carefree music with the same vibe to it.

So, just to hear it again, I went to the Jitterbug music video on youtube, and saw the thing I’ve been seeing around a lot on videos with music.

The buy from Itunes button!

 

Now, obviously, I know what this means. It’s very self-explanatory, but I have some other questions. First off, I don’t understand if this is just for partners, or for everybody, or how to do it. Is there like some sort of option to choose as you upload a video, or does it happen automatically?

And, more impotantly, does that mean Viacom, and all the music labels will be less strict with copywritten music than before? Because, up until recently, I thought Youtube had a strict “NO COPYWRITTEN MUSIC EVER AT ANY TIME” policy, and as you remember, Viacom was being all evil about all music, people were getting fined, suspended, and those with copywritten music would either not be allowed into the partner program, or if they were and somebody found out they had copywritten music, they’d be kicked out. I just don’t get it.

Obviously, there wouldn’t be this option if copywritten music was still not allowed. It would be pointless.

So, for example, lets say I wanted to use “jitterbug” in a video. Would that be allowed now, considering I figure out how to use the Itunes option, or what? What exctly are the rules on youtube regarding copywritten music currently?

Or, what If I chose some other song by Devo or something instead of Jitterbug? It would be a copywritten song. Would there be anyway I could use it?

If some sort of youtube, tech whiz or somebody could possibly answer this question, I’d be very happy.

Also, does anybody know any songs that sound like Jitterbug that I could use in my video? I’d appreciate ideas about that, too, if you have any time.

A wasted summer (but I’m alright!)

Well, here I am on the last day of summer. Looking back, it was definitely completely wasted. I had three goals, and there were to 1, get a job, 2 make some friends (perferably of the lady variety), and 3, to bulk up my subscribers count and to finally try to make a better name for myself on youtube. Well, I epically failed with all of those, but I’m not dwelling on it. It’s opened my eyes a bit, so bear with me during this post, because I am definitely not complaining. Don’t assume I’m whining here.

So, let me tell you about the job thing. There comes a point when a man gets sick of sitting on his computer all day and chasing fame he’ll never get that he get’s bored with it, and wants more. That was me last May. I wanted to finally get a job. I was QUITE optimistic, too, because my sister told me should could get me into an interview for a job as a golf caddy, because she had connections. Mind you, this was not just an average country club, too. I had the potential to be caddying for Bob Uecker and Aaron Rodgers if I got the job. Sounds like a dream job to me. But, alas, this recession happened. The country club needed to cut back on caddies, and they even needed to lay off some of the ones they already had. Well, that was the end of that dream. But, I decided to not fret yet, because they had been working on a Dunkin’ Donuts nearby for over a year. I love Dunkin’ Donuts! That was so exciting! I would have loved to work there, and I figured that there would be A LOT of positions available if they were just opening it. Well, it never opened. And it won’t ever open either. What do I have to thank this time? Probably the recession again. I hadn’t given up yet, though, as there was a Jimmy Johns right next door to it, which also, may I add, had plenty of pretty girls working it. So, I dropped by to ask what the qualifications were, and they said I needed to be over 16. So, in my awkward, annoying manner, I did that thing where I point my finger on the tabe, and said something along the lines of “Weeeeeelll, that doesn’t look very good for ol’ Reuben, does it?” …then I walked out, embarrassed I did that thing in front of all the pretty girls. I wish I didn’t always do that “mockingly suave” thing when I get nervous. I hate it. I hate it so much.

So, that was blown out of the water. I had one last chance, when one day decided I wouldn’t mind working for a coffee shop nearby. So, the same day, I headed on over, and picked up an application. Everybody was really nice to me, so I headed home and filled it out. Took it back 2 days later, and waited. They never called back. Looking back, it might not have been the best idea to say that “Rockin’ the suburbs” by Ben Folds describes me the most. So, I’ll take the high road, and blame ol’ Benny on me not getting this job.

Thanks a lot, Ben! While you are out hanging with Weird Al, I'm stuck in school with no source of income!

So, yes, the job hunt was unsuccessful. Very unsuccessful, as was my attempts to make friends. Actually, I lost friends this summer. Pretty much, I lost all of my friends except for like one person, and a few aquaintances. I guess I forgot to follow the old saying of “Never befriend a little guy who’s name rymes with Teoff, because although he will be your best friend for over a year, when the Summer comes, he will completely turn his back on you and become the biggest jerk ever by rekindling another friendship with another guy who stabbed you in the back, and then he’ll just skateboard all the time and completely change as a person into a really mean spirited little clone of everybody else, and he also won’t give you back your beloved screenplay that you worked on for over 2 years because he is a jerk who probably lost it even though he promised to not lose it over the summer when you gave it to him to read it because you trusted him, and now you probably won’t ever get it back.”

Silly me!

Other than that, my pals have stopped talking to me, have decided to start dating an old flame of mine without telling me, have deleted me from my friends on the social networking sites, and altogether have changed as people who no longer like me for whatever reason. Maybe it’s my fault, because I HATE being the only other person who calls people to hang out. Once in a while, it’s okay, but when you have friends who NEVER EVER EVER EVER call you, you start to get the feeling that they aren’t really good friends.

Plus, I had no luck with the ladies this summer. No luck, at all.

So, probably the worst, my goal of getting at least over a thousand subscribers this summer fell extremely flat. I assumed that I’d have nothing but time to work at revamping you channel and making good videos that people would HAVE to discover me and subscribe. Not quite. Grand total, I got less than 30 subscribers the whole summer.

LESS THAN 30.

That’s not only a fail, that’s a horrible shameful fail. Even if I didn’t shovel all of my spare time into making youtube videos and everything, that would still be earth shatteringly heart-breaking. Seriously. Less than 30. Girls with videos about the Jonas Brothers get more than that. Yes, I’ll admit that I had that scare when I got over a thousand fake sockpuppet subscribers, but that just doesn’t count. Plus, they have all gone away, and it’s been over a week since I got one measly subscriber. In fact, over the past 2 weeks, I’ve lost 2 subscribers, and that’s it.

So, I’ve had a lot of time to think. I’ve come to the conclusion that people still really, really, REALLY don’t like me on the internet, and that won’t change. Youtube is not the right place for me, and I’ve wasted years on it. The Reubnick channel is such a dead horse that it’s rotting. I’ve plateaued in early January, and it’s been that way since. There is no Reubnick future on youtube. I won’t become a partner, and I won’t become a “web-lebrity”, either. My youtube progress is done, and if videos I spend hours and hours on can’t get over 200 views in 2 months, that tells me something.

But, I’ve also decided to not whine ANYMORE about it. I face the facts. I’m not liked on the internet, and at this point, there’s nothing I can do about it. So, I won’t dwell at all, because nobody wants to hear it, and it’s pitiful. That’s why I’ve decided that this year, I’m going to stop focusing on my youtube channel much at all, and do other things. I’m going to write a bunch of scripts, but they are going to be longer and involved, and nobody will probably know about them. I want to contribute to Uncyclopedia more, and I want to work on developing the Flash series I’m working on with Dom about Martini Martian more. Quite frankly, I don’t really care that much about youtube anymore. It’s only brought me heartbreak, and that won’t change. That’s why I want to pursue my other endeavors and see how that goes.

No, I’m not quitting youtube, because although I have grown to hate it, I just can’t give it up. It’s become such a part of me that I can’t leave it. So, I hope to still make videos, but with a lot less frequency. Because I’ll have a lot of other stuff to worry about, and like I said, it’s not that important to me anymore. I am thinking I might start to do “vlogs” more, because those seem to be all the rage lately. I can dig up my “Reubnickisanidiot” channel, revamp it, and basically just completely rip off what Nalts, PeterCoffin, ZackScott, CharlesTrippy, WhattheBuck, Shaycarl, and Ijustine are doing, amongst others. I’ll see how that goes, and if anybody really cares about what I have to say.

I’m really optimistic about this whole Martini Martian thing, though. The very first episode got featured on Albinoblacksheep, which is a huge deal to me. That website is honestly what got me started on the internet. Without it, there would be no Reubnick. Just writing the script for something that got featured on there is probably even a bigger deal than getting featured on Youtube. Even though it probably sounds like I’m sucking up to it and being really annoying, it is a huge deal to me. Does anybody even know how many hours I spent watching the Angry Strawberry and that weird video where the crabs dance with Britany Spears to the Castaway music? I don’t think so! The answer is a lot of time.

There’s already 8 or 9 scripts I’ve written for it, and I think they are all solid. We need to rerecord them because the sound quality is B-A-D BAD, and because the person who voices Martini is a little jackass, but when that is done, we’ll get the series more on the road. Even though people don’t like the first episode very much at all, we won’t give up there.

What else? Oh, yeah, I got featured on the front page of Bananasurprise.com, too. I mean, all I had to do was send in a picture, but it’s still pretty cool.

SURPRISE!

So, there you have it. A new Reubnick in the future. Less in front of the camera, and more behind it for me. if by some chance, my channel finally takes off this year, I’ll go back to doing what I’m doing, but for right now, I think I’ll just write more scripts. I’m still going to write annoyingly large ammounts of twitter updates, but I just won’t be on Youtube as much.

I mean, right now, I’ve got like 5 feature length movie scripts I’d like to write just for the heck of it, and for possible use in the future. They are all genious in my opinion. Plus, I’m going to release a free book I wrote sometime soon, so hopefully people will enjoy that.

Normally, I’d end posts like these on a discouraged note, but I’ve realized I really shouldn’t get discouraged about doing what I’m doing until I’m in college, and things still don’t go very well for me. But, If I don’t get into the Second City, and then SNL, I’ll just become a politician! It’s a good plan.

So, don’t worry about Reubnick, because I’m alright!

Martini Martian.

So, is anybody here from the link at the end of the Martini Martian video on Albinoblacksheep? You click the logo with my face and you end up here?

Well, if that’s a case, drop me a comment and tell me what you thought.

I have over a thousand subscribers now?

Well folks, it finally happened. Reubnick now has over a thousand subscribers. 1,724 to be precise. I got approximately 1,188 new subscribers last night. Granted, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM is a fake, sockpuppet account, there’s nothing I can do about it now, so why not run with it?

As you could tell, this is rather bittersweet, seeing as most of them aren’t real, but I guess in the long run, it’s a good thing. Hopefully now this can get me some attention, and it can create a snowball effect to actually get me some real subscribers.

Of course, I’m not really happy for two reasons. 1, like I said, is that these aren’t real subscribers, so there’s no reason for me to actually feel proud. 2, I’m afraid that Youtube might get word of this and close my channel down or something. I don’t know. But I can always still park the username “ReubenGlaser” if I need to.

So, that’s that. Technically, I should have some sort of “most subscribed this week” honor, but it hasn’t shown up yet, and I don’t really deserve it. Whatever, though. I’m in the ranks of Ben Stiller this week.

So, take it how you want to. Believe me, this isn’t any of my doing. It just happened. I don’t know who did it, or why it happened, but like I said, there’s nothing I can do about it.

*Rasing a glass to robots.*

This, the week of my sister’s wedding.

Well guys, here I am at the week of my sister’s wedding. 6 days away actually. That means I have quite a bit on my plate already. Plus, my dad has 5 fractured ribs still, so I’ll need to do a lot of extra housework and hooplah to make everything look all pretty, too. We’ve also got a guy from Germany coming to our house for this wedding, and all kinds of crazy stuff. Plus, you guys don’t know my family…or at least my sister. Everything about this wedding needs to be made a huge deal of. It’s been that way for the last year and a half, and now that it’s down to the wire… yikes. Don’t even get me started on the pig roast, which is ridiculous, because I’m pretty sure my stupid fat uncle is just going to eat the whole thing before any of us can actually get to it.  But, congrats to her for trying the knot. Needless to say, don’t expect any new videos for a couple days, though.

Don’t I look just positively dapper, though?

Stylin'

Honestly, though, have you guys noticed I’ve been on FIRE lately? Probably not, because still, nobody cares about me…but I’ve noticed. Slowely, but surely, I’m rising the charts one subscriber at a time, which really isn’t much, but since I have such lowered expectations since I realized I’ll never be a big deal on youtube, that’s great to me. Plus, the twitter bots have just been throwing themselves at me, too. Most importantly, however, I’ve been getting used to Sony Vegas, too, which is really putting me over the edge. At this point, I might actually have a thousand subscribers by the time I graduate highschool if I’m lucky. So, things have been going pretty well for Reubnick, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited for the future of my channel. Wooo…

See ya guys when I see ya.

BREAKING NEWS: Danny Devito reported alive at home.

Hello everybody, it’s Reubnick. Here’s just a bit of breaking, feel good news I think we can all enjoy in liu of all of this Michael Jackson sadness. At least in these sad times we can look on the bright side with this news gem. Enjoy.

Beverly Hills, Jun 26, 2009 4:01 pm PDT

After an extremely involved search spanning all of California, a reliable source has confirmed that investigators have found Danny Devito alive in his Beverly Hills home.

He is 64.

Journalists are reporting that after hours of searching, they located the every man character actor, best known for playing his stoic, blunt, outlandish characters, and for his role as ”Phil” in the Disney Movie Hercules, alive and in good sorts in his home.

He has a wife, Rhea Perlman, and three kids.

He was pronounced alive at the scene at 4:01 pm, June 26th.

He continues to give his legions of fans fond memories and innumerable movies and productions for years to come.

”I can tell you at this time that we were notified by Beverly Hills Police Department detectives that Mr. Devito was located in his home laying on the bed, and he was fully responsive and animated and was pronounced alive at approximately 4:01 this afternoon,” Chief of Police David Snowden was reported as saying. “There appeared to be a number of psychological and physical ailments not affecting Devito in any way, therefore leading to him still being alive.”

Snowden concluded his conference by saying “We request that Mr. Devito’s fans and reporters continue to act in a similar nature to the way they usually do to the Devito family in these non-emotional and entirely non-sad and somber times, because he is alive with nothing wrong with him.”

No “immediate, or neccessary” autopsy is scheduled, Snowden said, because Devito is alive.

When contacted, Devito’s psyician stated “My client is in perfect health, with no concerning issues. Why are you guys here?”

When asked to elaborate, he declined further comment.

“Yes, I will admit I am a fan of Danny Devito, and have been for many years.” said South Carolina native Percey Goldstein. “I am absolutely not saddened by the fact that he is alive, and am in fact not surprised that he is alive either, because there has not appeared to be anything wrong with him in recent months. It would be a hard couple of weeks for me, and all of his fans if he was not alive…but he is, so we aren’t going to have to deal with any emotional hardship, at all. Yes, why are you asking me these questions?”

No people at all formed around the Devito houshold in support and sadness, because Devito is alive.

“I feel greatly relived that Danny Devito is alive”, Daria Garnder, of Grand Rapids Michigan, told reporters. “You know, it really puts my life back in order. I’m just wondering how his family is doing. It’s really all about the kids.”

Other fans reacted in different ways.

“I woke up, and was completely shocked to hear that Danny Devito was alive today.” explained floored fan Deb Appleton ”It was the last thing I was expecting to hear. I am desperate to know how Rhea’s doing.”

Devito is currently part of the cast of  the FX series”It’s always sunny in Phildelphia”, playing Frank Reynolds, and is attatched to “Rush Hour Four”, which is in post production, amongst other endeavors. These projects are scheduled to continue as usual, because Devito is alive.

Danny Devito’s estate is still currently under his name because he is still alive.

No funeral or public viewing is scheduled, either, because he is alive.

 

Expect a video about this soon, Reubnick fans. If you feel like sending me a video for it telling me your thoughts on this non-tragic event, please feel free to.